A highly serious group of professionals who absolutely, definitely, probably love duct tape, TODOs, and shipping charmingly unstable features.
Writes architectures on napkins, deploys them before the coffee cools. Believes every production outage is just “hands-on user research.” Favorite design pattern: the hotfix. If it compiles on the first try, clearly the linter is asleep.
Pipes data like a jazz solo: a little improvised, occasionally at 3 a.m., and somehow always lands on the downbeat. ETL philosophy: Extract, Transform, and Laugh. Indexes by vibes, partitions by hope, and benchmarks on a potato for scientific rigor.
Keeps the lights blinking in exactly the right way. Runs post-mortems before the mortem, during the mortem, and after the mortem—then frames the root cause as wall art. Test plan includes: “turn it off and on,” “shake it,” and “deploy again, but with feeling.”
Product vision so sharp it can slice story points in half. Designs UIs that really pop— sometimes literally, due to CSS. Embraces the artisanal chaos of jank: every pixel is a surprise, every user journey a choose‑your‑own‑adventure with a happy ending (eventually).